Pretty Fucked

I don't think I mentioned this at the time but if you read Something Positive you'll know that Davan's mother Faye died (The character not his real mother). At the time I just sort of read the comic and went "huh" and then kept reading through my trawl of comics.

After reading my comics, I devoured the usual blogs which of course includes Websnark. On websnark I came across a drunken and distressed post from Eric. At the time I just sort of went "huh" and then looked at the comments.

Some of the comments were trying to cheer up Eric and some were references to the webcomic he had sort of talked about. I really didn't read that many, I mostly browsed, but there was one near the top that I noticed. Phil Kahn's comment:

"I cried. It took reminding myself that it is still a webcomic and not real people to shake me from the terror I was feeling.

Fuck."

Now I'm not trying to say Phil Kahn is a pussy or that I'm harder than him but I was a little surprised by his comment. My initial reaction was something along the lines of "It's just a comic dude." I'm more than happy to admit that I've gotten a little teary watching a movie or reading a book every now and then. Not everyone does and that's cool, but I have and I'm all good with it. I thought about the comic and decided that it was because while webcomics like Something Positive are telling stories they're not as easy to invest in emotionally as a book or movie. Especially considering the character in this case is just Davan's mum and not someone we see or hear from that often.

Then I saw today's episode of Something Positive and as I read Davan's line I had tears in my eyes. It's not about Davan's mum - it's about Davan. It's about the people that love her.

I can count the number of times I've cried since I turned ten on one hand. This doesn't include getting a little teary in a movie or crying with laughter. I mean serious crying. I didn't cry at my Grandmothers funeral. I think the closest I came was at the funeral when everyone else was I crying I looked at the other people and thought "Wow they look pretty sad". It's kinda disturbing that the one thing that brings me the closest to crying is seeing other people cry.

There's a scene in the movie Kolya where a small child is sitting in the bath with one of the bath implements pressed against his ear. He misses his Grandma and wants to talk to her but she's dead and he's trying to call her on the telephone. As he starts trying to talk to her he starts crying. This killed me. Watching someone (a fictional character) miss their dead Grandma brings me closer to tears than the death of my own Grandmother, how fucked up is that?