Vanilla Bear

I've been weird for the last few days. I'm not sure how much of the weird is just inside my head and how much is coming out. But I'm pretty it's safe to say I've been weird. I got some photos from my last performance which is good. Now I have to start thinking about what work to show next I guess. I have one sculptural idea and one performance as well as one book I better start working on soonish.

This morning at the best stop an old woman came up to me and said how much she liked my hair. Having long curly red hair I'm fairly used to this kind of thing so I just smiled and thanked her. She stood in front of me looking distinctly senile before saying "So, what are you then?" After a pause she clarified, "A boy or a girl?" I'm not the epitome of masculinity by any stretch of the imagination and I'm alright with that, but I'm not a girl and I told her so. She just wandered off.

I am the worst person I know for sticking to social plans. People organise parties and I bail. People organise to hang out and I bail. Mostly if people want to see me they just drop round. I have a party every saturday for the next month. This may not seem like a big deal to most people but contrary to what you might think, I am no party animal. I am sloth. I'm not sure who's going to get bailed on just yet but seeing as one of the parties is at my house it probably won't be that one.

I was sitting by my workspace in the studio today with two friends and we were looking at my work. One of my friends (the Older) has known me for a while and knows a lot about my mental space. The other friend (the Younger) also has hung out with me but generally on a much more superficial level. The Younger commented on my work "You know if someone who didn't know you saw your work, they'd probably think it was done by some crazy person who was like depressed or something!" The Older and I had a quiet chuckle at that. The truth is that I guess I seem like I'm in a good mood most of the time, especially at uni (friends - feel free to contradict me). I wonder why.

I got a little bit of reflective writing done today which is nice since I've been blocked for a couple weeks. It was only a little bit but maybe the flood gates are inching open.